A group of peaceful law abiding homosexual citizens were forced into hiding after a Cabinet replete of crooked, dodgy, homophobic ministers decided that a group of people just being themselves and causing harm to no one constituted a criminal activity.
The Cabinet, which includes Ministers who have taken bribes, escaped prosecution and appointed their relatives to prominent positions in government, said that they would not decriminalise homosexuality because of the fear that everyone would turn gay overnight. One minister said, “We only want economic progress, not social progress. Actually, we want to socially regress as a nation. But not too far back because there was a time when we Sri Lankans had no issue with being naked as has been documented in the Sigiriya frescoes. So only up to the point where we began shaming people and taking bribes from the clothing industry.”
“Some cabinet members suggested that we decriminalise homosexuality but GSP+ is not as important as making sure that GAY-,” he added while enjoying the music of Freddie Mercury, George Michael and Elton John while watching a Jodie Foster movie co-starring Ian McKellen, all the time admiring their talents.