Former Sri Lanka Cricket Captain and All round Hypocrite, Arjuna Ranatunga, issued a statement saying the appointment of this brother, Dhammika, to the position of Chairman of the Ports Authority was not a case of nepotism as his favourite brother is actually Nishantha Ranatunga. He also said he liked Dammika the least after Nishantha, Sanjeeva and Prasanna.
Issuing a statement to address the concerns raised, the Minister said “One day, when I was 16 years old and on my way for under 15 practices, I discovered that someone had stolen my packed lunch. It really upset as me as, most people know, a good belly filling meal is an important part of my training regime. If my pads went missing even it wouldn’t have mattered, but having my lunch taken hit me really hard. The last person to be seen near my bag was Dhammika and he was rubbing his belly, so I am sure it was him. Ever since then I have always considered Nishantha my favourite brother.”
“However there is no doubt we have share some common family traits including being extremely dodgy and backstabbing each other in public while making sure the knives are made of bubble wrap” he added.