Politicians Allowed Back on to Pavements to Sell False Election Promises

ShopsAfter the Mayor of Colombo recently reversed a policy that allowed pedestrians to freely walk on the pavements of Colombo without hindrance, a number of leading politicians have already set up stalls to sell a range of false promises ahead of the forthcoming general election.

The Mayor, who uses only 2 square feet of pavement to cross from his car to his office, said that “People think they need more pavement space than they actually do. See how I manage with 2 square feet – although it is difficult for me to buy shoes for them. This policy of reintroducing hawkers will encourage growth, mainly of my voter base”

Among the stalls setup include Ravi K’s Gifts for your Family, Duminda’s Pharmacy and Mervyn’s Morals – just name your price. Enterprisingly, the former Chairman of the UDA, Mr Gota, was seen selling bits of the pavement itself at a 10% commission.

The new False Promise line of products available in the stores include Unfair and Lovely appointments to government run companies, Limited number of Ministers (with great expansion features) and Integrity.

Even the President got in on the action to sell Yahapaalanaya with a 100 day guarantee (which has now expired)

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