Lankan men are trying to avoid making one of biggest social faux pas of their lives by trying to figure out if expanded midriffs of Sri Lankan females are a result of increased consumption of beer, as recently reported, or due to pregnancy.
One man, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, “It’s a real issue. Several times I’ve seen female friends of mine with protruding bellies and I’m not sure whether to congratulate them on their pregnancy or to offer to buy a pint. I don’t want to offend by saying the wrong thing but it would be rude to ignore and not say anything either. What’s the social etiquette here?”
“To make things confusing I overheard one girl say that she got pregnant by drinking beer. I’m assuming she made out after a drunken session rather than the brew itself inseminating her in some way. And then there was this dude with a pot belly who claimed he has a bun in the oven. I think he meant one to eat when he gets home after his beer marathon. It’s all so confusing.”
In a related story a number of feminists have complained that despite the fact more women are drinking beer, they are still not drinking enough as men. One feminist said, “We will fight until women and men are drinking equal amounts of beer. We don’t care if we are biologically less tolerant of alcohol. Men just can’t be having more beer than us. They aren’t going to drink less, so we’re gonna drink more.”