Man Arrested For Intruding President’s House. Mahinda Says He Had Momentary Lapse In Concentration

Former President Mahinda Rajapakse admitted to having a momentary lapse in concentration after police revealed a man was arrested for attempting to intrude the President’s house last evening.

Mr Rajapakse released a statement saying, “Although everyone thinks Maithri is the President, it is actually I who should be in charge of this country, because I also lost the popular vote, just like Donald Trump and he is in charge. But I was in Colpetty last evening for a dinner and I drove past the President’s house, which I turned into by habit. I was there for just 15 minutes when I realised I should no longer be there, but by that time security had called the police.”

“However, while I was there I issued an Executive Order to build a wall around Ranil Wickremasinghe and banned people from 7 opposition parties from entering Parliament unless they have been extremely vetted. I also managed to send out a couple of white vans and appointed one of my nephews at Governor of the Central Bank. Old habits die hard. So does Bruce Willis,” he added.

Meanwhile, police say they have also spotted a man fitting Ranil Wickramasinghe’s description loitering outside the Presidential abode.