How To Explain The Budget To Your Children

First of all tell them that things could be worse. Much worse. Just look at America. Actually it’s only slightly worse.

Then tell them that they are incredibly lucky that they are not paying taxes, mainly because you never know how much you actually need to pay at any given point proceed to scratch your head in confusion. However, you will have to break the news that in order to train them for the concept of taxes that a portion of their pocket money will be deducted at source for some sausages.

You will also need to explain that although the savings in their piggy banks accrue no interest, new WHT will result in a payment made to their parents every month and the decreasing balance in the kitty. Soon the clay that the piggy bank is made out will be worth more than the money inside.

You will tell them that they need to stand by their fellow students of all religions, races and genders. But mainly try and stand next to rich kids and befriend them.

You will tell them that although the Government has introduced subjects like hospitality and design into the national curriculum, they can never be put on a respectable matrimonial advert so they need to stick to becoming a doctor, lawyer, engineer or accountant.

You can excite them by the prospect that the hot boy or girl that they drool over on American TV shows are no longer something that you see on a screen and with the new multi-entry visa they could be sitting in classroom right next to them. However, class trips to Mirissa may only work in the foreigner’s favour.

Finally, you will them that when they start studying for A Level that they should first check if the tablet they receive is Galaxy Note 7, in which case the insurance provided to kids in this budget will also become handy. They should also be told that in the event the table is of a higher specification of than the one you as parents own, then you will have the right to invoke the ‘respect your elders’ clause and go for a swap.

Finally give them a hug and tell that this has only been possible because the price of hugs has been reduced.