NewsCurry Breaking news and serving it up in pieces
Several women have complained that they will have to endure bathing with their best friend as a result of the V.A.T increase imposed on the water tariff by the Government and as result declared water a non-essential item.
One woman, who recently has started using nutmeg as a means of communication due to the increased cost of communication said, “Humans are said to be composed of 75% water so by declaring water non-essential the government is, by extension, saying that humans are 75% non-essential. But it works the other way too as the public also think that that the 75% of the government is not only non-essential but useless. However, it is clear that Ravi Karunanayake is 100% non-essential.”
“As a result of this increase in V.A.T., I am going to have to bathe in diamonds and wash my clothes in shrimp feed, both which have been excempt from V.A.T. and included in the essential goods list. I was also going to buy an eco-friendly electric car but am now considering a helicopter which is also an essential item apparently.”
Meanwhile Crystal Waters, who had a 90s hit 100% Pure Love has said that in Sri Lanka she has to give 115% and The Proclaimers are being forced to walk 650 miles and then another 650 more just to be the man who walked 1300 miles to fall down at your door
