Public To Drink Foreign Exchange And Bathe In Fanta As Coke Use SL As Water Source Despite Shortage

The Government of Sri Lanka has informed the public that they should learn how to drink foreign exchange, and shower in Fanta (the cream soda version, not orange as that will only be used for washing dishes) as they are in discussions with Coke who are very interested in depleting Sri Lanka’s fresh water supply.

Coke approached Ravi Karunanayake to discuss their proposal for using up Sri Lanka’s dwindling water reserves in return for a load of money, which the company have assured that people will be able to drink. The Finance Minister said, “But they are giving us money and we are an island. The people can go to the sea and bathe. That is what our forefathers did for centuries before water was invented. And they are giving me lots of free coke to distribute to members of staff that were sacked from my company yesterday.”

“Have you tried washing in money? I have because I have loads of money. It’s better to shower with notes rather than coins, though. And Fanta grape is one of the best ways to wash your vehicle. Especially if your vehicle is the colour of Fanta grape. Anyway, who needs water? It’s money all the way.”