Love Is No Longer In The Air Due To Pollution (And Idealistic Expectations) Say Environmental Scientists

smoke heartA group of environmental scientists (basically vegetarian scientists who work outdoors) said that Love has almost certainly dissipated from the earth’s atmosphere with the increasing pollution attributed as the root cause, followed closely by idealistic expectations of potential partners and the ease of access of porn.

One member of the team, who conducted the study said, “Over the last few years we witnessed an increasing number of divorces and the reduction in the number of people getting married. While this trend has resulted in the increase in the overall happiness in the population we wanted to understand the factors behind this. After collecting samples from the air and studying the particles we noticed a significant decline in the compound of Love, which is a combination of the elements of Mutual Attraction, Horniness, Similar Social Strata and the Alleged Promise of Happiness. At the same time, we witnessed an increase in emissions from cars and factories so we thought it easy enough to correlate the two.”

“Of course we have attributed a few other factors to the cause of this decline in Love including idealistic expectations of partners which have been formed as a result of girls watching chick flicks and rom coms and guys watching porn, plus single people believing their friends in relationships are as happy as their Facebook profiles suggest.” he added.

Meanwhile, the Environmental Agency are also looking into complaints that the Joint Opposition has been creating a lot of sound pollution in recent weeks causing people to cover their ears especially when hearing the voice of Wimal Weerawanse

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