Ravi Karunanayake Says He Will Use Newly Detected Gravitational Waves To Attract Foreign Investment

GWFinance Minister and author of the world’s first U-turn budget, Ravi Karunanayake, today announced that he will harness the power of the newly detected Gravitational Waves to attract much needed foreign investment into the country after his attempt to find more anonymous billionaires is not gaining any ground.

The waves which were detected as a result of the collision of two black holes, one of which is suspected to contain funds used to launch the CSN TV channel, has proved to be one of the most exciting events in the world of astronomy yet not as amusing as the youngest Rajapakse’s career as an astronaut.

One scientist who lead the project that detected the waves said, “Einstein was right – the theory that relatives will generally warp your concept of space and time is true. I once went to my aunt’s place for dinner for a few hours and felt like we were there for a week as she just didn’t stop talking. My second cousin also has no concept of personal space – much like tuk tuk drivers in the country.”

The detection of the waves will bring scientists closer to discovering the origin of the universe and how the Big Bang woke up God who managed to find a good contractor to build it seven days.


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