Mud and Slingshot Sales Soar as Nominations Revealed

Sales of mud hit a new peak last night as nominees for the upcoming general elections began stockpiling truckloads of the stuff to be used as the key component of their campaigns.

Mud salesmen have issued a statement saying there was an islandwide shortage due to the elections and for the public to also be aware of flying mud across the country, especially in the mass media, until 17^thAugust. In order to increase the entertainment value, for every 50 kilos of mud purchased nominees were given a free high powered slingshot.

The Ministry of Health has issued a warning that those who come under a sustained mud attack could suffer from serious side effects including most visibly a lack of a nomination by their respective parties in future elections as suffered by Duminda Silva and Mervin Silva last evening.

As a result of the spike in mud sales, it is expected that a number of politicians will also be washing their resulting dirty linen in public adding to the woes of reportedly uncollected garbage.