Using Fraudulently Acquired Govt Bonds To Carry Shopping Carries Lower Fine Than Using Polythene Bags

With a ban on polythene bags set to commence from 1^st September, several members of the public have said that they will be replacing them with Treasury Bonds to carry their groceries as the fine for acquiring the latter illegally is almost zero, with the fine for using polythene bags carrying considerable higher.

One shopper said, “We have to carry our shopping home somehow and not like it’s going to teleport itself home. We tried using recyclable bags, but they degrade fairly quickly. So when we heard that Govt Bonds are made of more sturdy material, we decided to try them as a substitute. There is an additional benefit if you acquire them illegally, of the ability to profit massively without any repercussions.”

A spokesperson for the Central Bank said, “We hope to sell more bonds this way and at the same boost spending which is great for the economy. We hear that some people are struggling to pay their rent so it is important that we look at new ways to stimulate GDP growth apart from showing it porn.”