NewsCurry Breaking news and serving it up in pieces
Seaman and Ruggerite Yoshitha Rajapakse was this evening expected to be diagnosed as suffering from seasickness in a bid to avoid being remanded behind bars and be sent directly to the Prison Hospital, otherwise known as the VIP section of the legal system.
The middle son of the former first family was taken into questioning this morning by the FCID who grilled him for several hours with some intense questioning. After failing to correctly identify which side of the ship was starboard and which was port and unable to answer why so much stationery was missing from the offices of the TV channel that he was associated with, the investigator’s suspicions grew when they noticed that his shirt was stapled together instead of being buttoned.
The authorities immediately took him to the Kuduwela Magistrates where he was arrested for the crimes outlined against him by the FCID , in addition to the poor programming on CSN which the judge added to the list of charges. Speaking to the accused, the judge said “Why can’t you get some good shows on the channel? Lots of rubbish on the channel at the moment. Get some good British comedies, American dramas and Australian Cooking shows. If you had done that you wouldn’t have been in this mess. Because you spent it on shit programming that is a financial irregularity and we have to arrest you”.
“I heard you bought the rights to a show called Family Fortunes, but that’s just about your family noh? Okay, I’m going to have to remand you. Now go and see your doctor and get some sort of sick note.”
Meanwhile, Nishantha Ranathunga is expected to cite a cricketing injury he picked up when he played for Under 17 Second XI Reserves B Team side at school when he came on as a sub for 3 minutes, which has suspiciously flared up after 40 years, in a bid to be also sent to the Prison Hospital.
