‘Yahapaalanaya’ Theme Park To Open Under New Budget Incentives

The Government has taken advantage of its own budget incentives with regards to the launch of theme parks to build a state-owned attraction called ‘Yahapaalanya’, which may or may not get underway anytime soon. A spokesman for the Ministry of Entertainment said, “This theme park will ensure people get a real feeling of Yahapaalanya, while helping distract them from the reality of life and also from questioning what Good Governance is not achieving.”

The entry to the ride itself will be a bit an adventure called ‘Ticket in Triplicate’ where visitors will be asked to fill out a form several times and include the name of two referees plus a passport sized photo where the visitor must not be smiling or otherwise enjoying life. The counter to submit the form, pay the money and collect the ticket will be located 125 meters apart from each other at the entrance.

Other popular attractions include:

• The Bureaucratic Ferris Wheel – A ever ending circle of administrative backlog that has no start point or end point.
• The Family Friendly Merry Go Round Of Nepotism – Only relations and acquaintances of ministers are able to access this ride which involves getting seats on boards of state companies with lucrative salaries. A recent passenger on this ride, Mr Kumarasinghe Sirisena’s pay went up 3 times when he boarded the SLT and Mobitel seats on this ride.
• The Roller Coaster Of Inquires Into Irregularities – Ideal for those people with a shady political dealings who may be subject to suspicious activities, this ride will give you the highs and lows of going through the process, but you will generally end up safe unless your name if Sajin Vaas.
• Bumper To Bumper Cars – Located in Colombo, this ride will give you hours of wasted time as you try and get to anywhere in central Colombo in less than 45 mins. Three Happy Hours are available where you get an extra 45 mins on the ride during 8am – 9am, 1.30pm – 3pm and 5.30pm – 7pm.
• Sinking Ship – Avant Garde

For refreshments, the park will have a restaurant which uses food items whose prices were reduced at the recent budget in order to make the menu more affordable to patrons, and will include Big Onion Infant Milk, Dhaled Local Milk Powder, Chickpeas Boiled in Potatoes and a Speedboat Salad.