The Prime Minister has instructed the Ministry of Health to find an appropriate school to admit the Minister of Education, Akila Kariyawasam, so that he ...
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‘I Will Inject Myself With The Blood Of The Child As We Are The Same Type – Red’ Ranjan
Social Empowerment and Welfare Deputy Minister Ranjan Ramanayake today said that he was willing to be injected with the blood of the child whose parents ...
Read More »Education Minister Must Be Separated From His Family To Prevent The Spread Of Insanity Says PM
The Prime Minister today said that Education Minister Akila Kariyawasam must immediately be separated from his family in order to prevent the spread of stupidity, ...
Read More »Following Shooting Spate, Tourist Board To Change ‘Miracle Of Asia’ Tagline To ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’
The Sri Lanka Tourist Board are considering a new marketing approach to target high net worth foreign gangsters, who enjoy relaxing on a beach after ...
Read More »‘You Have To Be Independent To Hang Out At Independence Square’ Says Cultural Affairs Minister
The Minister for Cultural Affairs, who is currently stuck in the 19th century, has said that a number of people sacrificed their lives for Independence ...
Read More »Kuliyapitiya Villagers Ask Locals To Cover Ears If Someone Mentions HIV As They Could Catch Virus
A number of villagers from Kuliyapitiya, who believe that a broken bone is communicable through touching an injured person’s plaster cast, have asked locals not ...
Read More »Oxford University To Offer Lakshman Kiriella Honorary Degree Following Letter From Lakshman Kiriella
The University Of Oxford today announced that it will present Minister of Higher Education Lakshman Kiriella with an Honorary Degree In Abusing Power after receiving ...
Read More »Bank of Ceylon Apologises For Intl Womens Day Promo; Says Women Can Swap Non-Stick Pan For Iron Instead
Bank Of Ceylon, an institution so old that they have retained the Marketing Manager from the time that the country was still called Ceylon, have ...
Read More »‘Two Bs, or not Two Bs, That Is The Question’ Say Fitch, With Regards To Sri Lanka’s Credit Rating
Rating agency Fitch, today said they had turned to inspiration from the Bard in trying to decide if Sri Lanka’s credit rating should be downgraded, ...
Read More »Ranil Threatens To Unleash The New ‘Angry’ Facebook Reaction On Media Institution’s Facebook Posts
Prime Minister Ranil Wickremasinghe today said that he will not hesitate to use the newly released Facebook Reactions, specifically the ‘Angry’ reaction, against any media ...
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