Don’t Choose Which May Day Rally To Attend By Political Affiliation, But By Type Of Lie You Want To Hear

Members of the public attending May Day rallies have been told that in order to maximise the value of their attendance to select a suitable rally, not by political affiliation but the type of falsehood they wish to hear.

A psychologist who studies May Day rallies said, “While we generally choose a procession to attend based on our natural family bias or aligned political values, none of these will give you as much benefit as matching what type of propaganda you like to hear and with the politicians who will deliver it. Having analysed the options, we advise those who like false promises to attend Maithiri’s or the UNP rally, for people who enjoy distortion of facts we suggest heading towards Mahinda’s rally at Galle Face, and for those want to convenient untruths there is always the JVP rally.”

One media analyst said, “This will be a record-breaking day for telling fibs to the public. We expect the rate of lying to reach 3 per minute at the height of the speeches. But despite our advice, we also believe that gullibility will also be very high on May Day, with several members of the public expected to believe what politicians at different rallies will be touting despite past history of being fooled. Even Trump will be embarrassed by the colossal fake statements and Sean Spicer will be impressed.”