Kuliyapitiya Villagers Ask Locals To Cover Ears If Someone Mentions HIV As They Could Catch Virus

A number of villagers from Kuliyapitiya, who believe that a broken bone is communicable through touching an injured person’s plaster cast, have asked locals not to mention HIV by name or acronym after fears that it people will get infected just by hearing the name of the virus.

The villagers, who it appears have not had an education themselves, have decided to halt the functioning of a local school by withdrawing their children after one child’s parents were rumoured to have HIV. Despite attempts by local and health officials to clarify the matter and also explain that no other children were in any danger whatsoever, the villagers said that they would not listen to any facts presented as they were only just facts and not rumours.

One idiot addressing a local meeting held by officials said, “We have listened to you speak about this virus and already a number of us believe we have symptoms. Now others are also saying the same thing without any basis in truth. It is imperative that we must believe these rumours as opposed what the science and medical facts are.”

“Last week a boy in that school had his tooth removed and all the other children in his class also began to get food poisoning. So just by proximity these diseases not only spread but they manifest themselves in different ways,” he jabbered on incoherently adding “Just by talking I am now spreading the ignorance virus.”