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A leading US medical practitioner with a background in British comedy announced last night he would bring legal action against Sri Lanka Cricket for causing severe heart palpitations during last night’s T20 World Cup game against England and almost bringing the House down.
Dr. House, who has been known to sport a British accent when not in the House, said the onset of the chest pains were as a result of Sri Lanka’s, or rather Angelo Matthews’, bold fight back in the match last night which almost resulted in England snatching defeat from the jaws of defeat. Speaking from his hospital bed, the Laureate said, “Despite having several Fry-Ups during my career as an actor and having gone forth to war under the leadership of Captain Blackadder, nothing has made my heart race more than the spectacular spectacle that was the Sri Lankan batting performance by the team’s Cricket captain which almost saw them win the match. It made for uncomfortable viewing and I felt the need to retire, which I believe Tillekeratne Dilshan is also contemplating after overstaying his innings.”
Dr. House also said that once he recovers, he is hoping to secure employment at a Sri Lankan Government Hospital after hearing about the outstanding perks available and the simplified prescription procedure which involves giving Paracetamol for almost all situations including dislocated joints and fractures. “I don’t know why we studied different types of medication in the west. If only I had heard about Panadol I would have prescribed it more often and we could be a healthier nation.” he added.
