Mahinda Says He Handed Over Country That Was Like A Cake, But Forgot To Pay For It

Former President Mahinda Rajapakse last evening said that the country he handed over was as like a beautiful cake, despite the presence of some nuts on the top, but he may have taken out a huge loan to pay for it forgot to mention it when handing it over to the new Government.

Speaking at yet another publicity seeking press conference, the former President said “I initially thought of buying a cake from some local bakers – Cake Factory, Dimplicious, Cakery, Butter Boutique*, all who make delicious cakes. But ultimately the best deal was offered from China –they made the cake, put some icing on it, gave me a loan to actually buy the cake and also gave me a knife to cut and keep a slice for myself. Very generous of them. When we needed to add a few more tiers to the cake to make it seem to the public that we were doing something, the Chinese government offered us a further loan. They didn’t even want any personal guarantees from me or my family – just some rights to build and own strategically important bits of the country and get paid in the future.”

“I, unfortunately, misplaced the receipt when I received the cake so it totally slipped my mind when I handed it over. I am glad the new Government have found the bill and am sure they noticed that they still have to pay for the cake that they didn’t bake.”

A spokesman for the current Government said, “After discovering the bill, we have decided to slice up with cake and sell to the public. And from 2^nd May, people will have to pay 15% added VAT if they want a slice. We tried to give the cake back to the Chinese but they said the warranty period, which was 17 minutes, was over.”

* None of the bakeries mentioned have paid for the name check. We just picked a few we like. If however they would like to send cake to us, we would welcome it and please get in touch!