Mahinda’s new Astrologer Requests change of Election Date to January 2010

MR StarsA star gazer who was recently appointed by the former President to help him revive his popularity and also take the blame for a possible upcoming defeat, has submitted a request to Commissioner of Elections asking for an amendment to the date of the Election from August 2015 to January 2010.

Mr Tharu Balamusooriya, an experienced astrologer, convened a press conference to explain his decision “The person that Mr MR appointed to this role previously saw stars on January 9th when the result of Presidential Election came out. He should have known that you need to look at the stars before an event. That is why he has now chosen me for the role as I am well versed in playing dot to dot with the stars and coming up with animal shapes. I also have a good track record and have predicted that Obama will loose the next US election ”

“Astrology is not just about the future – it also about the past and having looked at the up to the night sky, I can see that January 2010 will be a very successful period for Mr Rajapakse and as such made the request for the date change. It should not be a major inconvenience as it’s only a difference of 5 years, which when you consider the history of the galaxy in millions of years is less than a 1% variance” he added

In a related story the UNP have complained to the Commissioner that they should reprimand SLFP for the Blue Moon last night, as branding of lunar bodies is forbidden by campaign rules.

Menu Title