Man Forced To Use Twenty Rupee Note Instead Of Daily Mirror To Light Cigarette

NewsPAPER FIREUnable to find tabloid and gossip publication Daily Mirror to light his cigarette, a man had to instead resort to using a twenty rupee note to light his cigarette, it was reported last morning by people with nothing better to do, also known as journalists.

The man said, “The Daily Mirror has many uses – packaging my lunch, lining the bottom my cupboard shelves, making paper aeroplanes and using it to catch a flame in order to light my cigarette. However, as no one reads it anymore in my area I could not find one to light my cigarette yesterday so I was forced to use a twenty rupee note. But half of the note is remaining so I am going to use it to buy a toffee tomorrow. The Daily Mirror is very flammable, especially the gossip section to which they give undue oxygen. ”

“I would have used a copy of Daily News but I we keep fried poppadum on it and also line the cat litter tray. It’s just a Government mouth piece anyway and my cat hates Maithri’s lies which don’t get reported. The most popular sections of the newspaper are the tenders and obituaries,” he added.

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