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Government Minsters have raised a supplementary budget in Parliament requesting their new luxury vehicles be reinforced so that they are flood resistant, allowing them to travel to get some social media friendly photos from areas that have been affected.
One minister said, “The fact that we requested new luxury vehicles just last week shows that our timing was perfect. The orders for the new cars have not left the factory yet, so we can still get them reinforced, allowing us to visit disaster-stricken areas in the future for a photo opportunity of us putting on a sad face with victims. Of course, it will cost a substantial amount to get these adjustments made but we won’t take it out of the emergency budget, although someone’s taxes will pay for it. We don’t pay any so it won’t be ours.”
Another minister said, “When someone wants to build a house in an area that could be prone to landslides and on unsuitable ground, we say go ahead. But that’s only once we’ve received adequate payment to ignore the risks and not conduct due diligence. I mean who thought it would flood exactly a one year after the last floods? I know it has rained every year around this time but we thought this year we would get a break? Isn’t the planet getting warmer? Who are the scientists saying this?”