Our New Economic Policy Will Ensure The Redistribution Of Debt Says Minister

The bumbling Ministry of Finance today announced that it would ensure that, unlike the accumulation of wealth, the government will not make it same mistake with debt and ensure that it is distributed across society and everyone benefits from the misery.

At a press conference held yesterday, a spokesman for the Ministry said, “We are taking a balanced approach to wealth and debt. While wealth will continue to be hoarded by the few, with regards to debt we will take a more inclusive approach and ensure that it is spread. Much like love, which we will use to spread the debt. Considering there is more debt than wealth we believe that the public, although having a smaller slice, will be benefiting from a bigger pie. Only thing is that one day the people will have to regurgitate not just the pie but other pastries they have consumed and give it back to the Chinese. Some of them will consider it a delicacy”.

A member of the public said, “This debt proposal is interesting. I once couldn’t pay a debt and had to sell a kidney. I wonder what would happen if the Chinese send their hit men to claim the debt from the country. Maybe we can sell Kandy. It’s too congested anyway.”

One man of wealth said,”I could pay a lot of this debt off but I have been told it is better to delegate, which is why I am for the debt share proposal.”