NewsCurry Breaking news and serving it up in pieces
The Minister for Cultural Affairs, who is currently stuck in the 19th century, has said that a number of people sacrificed their lives for Independence and as such only independent people should be allowed to frequent Independence Square.
The issue arose when a couple, who were minding their own business, were asked to vacate the premises after over zealous security guards were concerned that they might engage in some sinister activity, like actually caring about each other. One of the guards said, “This boy and girl descended on Independence Square and started smiling at each other which initially raised our suspicion. Within 15 minutes they were having a soft drink and using the same straw and having witnessed this we knew that things were getting out of hand and that it was highly likely that they would fornicate in public within the next 30 minutes. In order to prevent this, we took action to break them up, as we have been ordered to by people who have never .
The Minister who ordered the evacuation of couples at Independence Square said, “These modern couples don’t know how to behave in public and we have been informed that they are doing obscene things like holding hands. In my time, which was the mid-1850s, couples would keep a minimum distance of 15 feet when out in public spaces. Of course, we are a bit more liberal and can accept that in the modern age a distance of 5 feet is fine, but nothing closer. They might spread diseases to each other if they get too close.”
If you want to rally against this madness there is a silent protest taking place at 4pm at Independence Square today (6th March) at 4pm. Further details here https://www.facebook.com/events/1151690651508124/
