NewsCurry Breaking news and serving it up in pieces
Following the surprise release of Beyonce’s latest musical endeavour “Lemonade”, which resulted in an island-wide sales boost of the beverage, Elephant House is hoping that Jay-Z’s reprisal album is called “Bitter Lemon”, which will both serve to retort the allegations against him and further increase the share price of the soft drinks manufacturer.
In his first public statement since the release of the album, Mr Z also known as Shawn Carter said, “I’ve now had the chance to watch and listen to the album which my wife dropped last week. By the sounds of it, it may not be the only thing she is dropping and I have to be on my best behaviour. But it appears that it wasn’t the all the lemons that life gave her that she turned to Lemonade, it was the just the bitter ones. If you listen to the rants and raves it is clear that she’s sucked on a few sour citrus fruits. She should have checked if they were ripe first.”
“A few people have alleged that the reason for the hysteria in the album is because of my indiscretions and that I’ve got 99 problems and the bitch is now one as well. I’m just gonna get that dirt off my shoulder, change clothes and come back at her with a bit of lemon in ‘Bitter Lemon’. And it’s not because I have sour grapes,” he added confusingly.
A spokesman for Elephant House said, “This domestic dispute which is playing out in the public sphere is doing wonders for our sales. We have our fingers crossed that Mr Z will follow through with the suggest album title of ‘Bitter Lemon’. We have also proposed to Prince’s estate that any unrealised material from the recently deceased artist be published under the title ‘Portello’ as there is synergy in colour and Ed Sheeran’s new album be called ‘Ginger Beer’.”
*If anyone from Elephant House or their agency is reading this and want to thank us with some free beverages for the free publicity, please send me DM on Facebook or email newscurrysl@gmail.com Thank you!!
