Dove Confirms Leading Cause Of Falling Hair Is The Stupid Dove Advert On Daily Mirror Website

After running one of the most annoying campaigns in web advertising history, which failed to take into account use of cookies and committing a string of other web advertising crimes, Dove have confirmed that the leading cause of falling hair is the very own Dove advert that is running on the Daily Mirror website.

The website, which is an advertising portal plugged with the occasional news to fill the gaps, is used by a number of brands that choose to get their product ignored by thousands of visitors considering the sheer quantity of them. A spokesman defended their decision to run the Dove advert saying “People think that our target audience is English speaking newsreaders, but it’s actually brand managers and media agencies. If they see their or their client’s adverts, then they are happy. We don’t really care if our readers are inconvenienced by adverts.”

The Brand Manager for Dove said, “This campaign has been a success for us. We realised that in order to increase sales of our product we needed to figure out how we can get more hair falling off people’s scalps. So after much brainstorming we decided that if we created an advert that was annoying enough people would just pull their hair out and that is how this idea came about.”

“Of course, we increased the annoyance factor by not utilising cookie technology to ensure that those who filled the form would not see the advert again, failing to take the email address so we can communicate with them more efficiently and not testing it on mobile.” added the Brand Manager who is also bald.