FCID claim Success after Nailing Previous Regime on Stealing Office Stationery

Health RiskThe FCID have claimed that their efforts to clamp down on corruption has been a massive success after publishing details of the amount of stationery lost under the previous regime following a 5 month audit.

In their report, the FCID said “we were tasked with uncovering all evidence of wrong doing over the past 8 years and having mobilised a number of detectives and also sought international help in this endeavour in addition to allocating over Rs One Million in office stationery for this investigation, we can proudly announce that we have uncovered Rs 18,500 worth of office stationery missing under the former government ”

Adhesives proved to be the most popular item to be nicked by politicians including glue, gum, celotape and blutack stocks virtually non-existent on the 9th of January when new officials took over. It was suspected that they are currently being used by contestants in the general election to break election laws. Erasers and Tipex were also high on the list of missing items as ex officials used them to hide lists of items that are now missing. And also to delete any evidence of wrongdoing over the years.

MR’s favourite piece of stationery was reported to be a ruler and was forced to take the whole cabinet with him when he left.

While the current government have fewer kleptomaniacs in their ranks there are rumours that some senior members have instructed COPE to make sure all reports are inserted in to folders so they are adequately covered up before publishing.

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