French Couple Say Udarata Menike Was So Slow They Were Able To Paint Monet’s Sunrise On Train

A French couple has blamed the slow pace of their train as the reason for the charges of vandalism brought against them, saying that they had enough time to paint Claude Monet’s Sunrise on the outside of the Udarata Menike while walking alongside it.

The French boy who was arrested said, “Sacre bleu – in France, this carriage would have been taken out of commission and placed in the Louvre as a work of art, but it seems Sri Lankans prefer their trains to just travel slower than a Hornby set. Having been to Sigiriya they also have their version of the Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies, with the frescos of the Standing Kumari With The Big Boobies.”

A spokesperson for the police said, “After the Sigiriya incident, we have banned all paintings in public spaces. If anyone wants to take up painting, they can use a canvas and then go to Green Path on Sunday to sell it. We are adamant to retain our heritage and keep the outside of the trains the way the British left them, without trying to make them look good, even with a lick of paint.”