Govt Promotes ‘Stay Out Of Prison By Committing A Crime’ Campaign Featuring Hirunika And Arjuna Mahendran

The government today kicked off a new initiative to keep people out of prison by encouraging them to commit a crime like abduction or massive financial fraud.

The marketing agency hired for the promotion said, “After much thought, we decided that the campaign needed a face and we were lucky to find two that matched our requirement. They were both faces of beauty with eye-catching features and an undeniable hint of criminality. We believe we can encourage more people, particularly the rich and powerful, to stay out of prison by bending the law of the country to their will.”

The government department overseeing the campaign said, “Of course there is a disclaimer at the bottom of the posters which state that this only applies to politicians and friends of politicians. Most other members of the public who commit the exact same crime will be promptly put in jail. If we put everyone who commits a crime in jail there won’t be any room so we have to keep some people out. The fact that they are politically connected is pure and deliberate coincidence.”