Halloween Was More Fun For Me Under My Regime As The Public Were Genuinely Frightened: MR

Former Chief Tormentor, Mahinda Rajapakse, said that he is having a subdued Halloween this year as people are no longer as frightened as they used to be under his regime.

Speaking from his house in the south of the country, Mr Rajapakse said, “This Government has not got into the spirit (pardon the pun) of celebrating Halloween. When I was in power, we didn’t even have to dress up to make people feel scared – we just played a few games with certain people and threatened them. And rather than find white sheets and go out paraded as ghosts, we just sent out a few white vans on patrol. It wasn’t just the kids but even adults would run away screaming for their life – so much fun.”

“This government have failed to celebrate this unique day, although we are going to haunt them for trying to bring in a new constitution that will carve up the old one like a pumpkin and remove clauses that were meant to keep me in power forever. I still walk around like I am alive, although my political career was buried in 2015,” he added.