NewsCurry Breaking news and serving it up in pieces
A man who gained fame online as a master debater spending up to four hours a day being pedantic with a determination to be right on matters that do not matter, was today left twiddling his thumbs after two key tools used to make his point, the Shift and Caps Lock Keys in his computer, abruptly stopped working.
Whereas previously the man would use a ‘NO’ to shout across the internet and a ‘DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT AM I RIGHT?’ to sound incredulous, he has said that typing such responses in lowercase does not have the same impact of attempting to make other people on the web feel worthless. The man said, “One time, after the loss of the keys, I had to make an ad hominem attack and called someone a buffoon, but it doesn’t have the same impact when I don’t use uppercase. Once I managed to make someone send me a crying emoji after calling them a BUFFOON for not knowing that tomatoes are actually fruits.”
We asked the man if he realised that using uppercase in the incorrect manner during the debate is a form of abuse and that the UN were bringing a resolution to ban the unnecessary use of the caps lock function, he told us to ”go do one you douchebags. i’ll send you a proper response next week in all caps once my keyboard is fixed.”
Another man, whose spacebar stopped working, said “IneedthehelpofanITpersontofixmycomputerandwouldbebegratefulifyoucouldpleasemeailmedetailsofanyoneyouknow.Thanks.”
