Maithri Forced To Act Cool After Forgetting To Bring $20 Bill To Inspect Seized Cocaine Haul

MSCPresident Maithripala Sirisena was compelled to pretend he had everything under control last evening after forgetting to bring a $20 bill to inspect a large haul of cocaine which was seized by Customs officers and instead asked Ravi Karunanayake to sample the wares and see if that improves his levels of alertness and in turn his performance as Minister of Finance.

Speaking after the inspection the President said, “I usually carry around a $20 bill so that when customs officers invite me to inspect hauls of cocaine that they have intercepted I participate in the formalities for PR purposes so that the public can see that we are doing everything in our power to raise the price of everything in the country. As a result of this raid after watching Scarface, more youth of this country will be inspired to take up acting classes rather than cocaine as they will not be able to afford it.”

Ravi Karunanayake, who accompanied the President on his visit said, “Are you sure we can’t at least sell some of this? I mean look at the amount of money we will make for the Treasury. I’m not saying that the Finance Ministry imported it but now that it’s here, I think we can make use of it to benefit the country. It will help tackle obesity as well.”

A couple of minister from the former regime said, “This government does are not maximising imports into this country. When we were in power we provided people with the country the opportunity to sample foreign goods as most people cannot afford to go to these countries and try it themselves. It also helped pay for our political campaigns.”

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