President Gazettes Garbage Disposal ‘Essential Service'; Running Country Efficiently Still Non-Essential

In a special Gazette issued last evening, the President marked the disposal of garbage as an essential service, while continuing to maintain the efficient running of the country as a non-essential service.

In a press conference, Mr Sirisena said, “The recent crisis with regards to the disposal of waste has forced my hand into taking steps to ensure that this is marked an essential service. It also means that no one can strike or write anything negative about this issue so it is a PR victory. However, the efficient running of the country can remain a non-essential service as it is not something recent and has been going on for decades. As such, there is no urgency to sort this out immediately.”

“By keeping the function of governing as non-essential we can continue to carry on doing very little while placing orders for expensive non-essential cars. Did you know that the Maybach I ordered has a non-alcoholic champagne cooler? I mainly keep Thambili in it though. But it cost as much as purchasing ten garbage lorries which our country badly needs. But I didn’t order them because they don’t have any coolers,” he added.