NewsCurry Breaking news and serving it up in pieces
The 500 prisoners who were yesterday granted freedom as a gesture of goodwill by the President for Vesak have today submitted an application to be re-entered into the system after witnessing the difficult conditions that free people are living under.
A spokesperson for the Department of Prisons said, “We thought that we will accumulate a significant amount of merit considering the number of prisoners that we released yesterday. However, they have formed a queue outside our premises this morning and are asking to be let back in. Unfortunately, there is a process for going to prison so we have told them that as a first step to go and commit a crime and we will take it from there.”
One prisoner said, “I thought conditions were bad on the outside, but when I went home all I encountered was my family talking about the price of red onions and bananas. A few of my neighbours who dropped by told me that they haven’t had any proper medical treatment due to the GMOA going on strike. My uncle who is a tuk tuk driver was moaning about the petrol shortage. After hearing all this I realised that life in prison was much better. We get free food, clothing, the chance to make new friends and even on occasion, drugs. Sometimes we get beaten, but that pain is less than the anguish of living free in a capitalist, democratic country.”
As a result of this re-offending rates are set to soar with the 500 criminals hitting the streets this week in a bid to secure a cell in prison.
