Rambukwella Adds ‘Land’ To List Of Places He Can’t Handle His Drinking, Following ‘Sky’

Part time cricketer and part time self-publicist, Ramith Rambukwella’s places he cannot handle a drink grew by 100% after he added land to the list which contained sea, after an incident which took place last year.

Mr. Rabukwella said, “I have several lists and they are all quite short. These include the number of games I’ve played for Sri Lanka, the number of beard styles I can sport and the number of places I can drink without going berserk. I have been making inroads to try increase the number of items on the first two lists but have been struggling with the last one, ever since the mid-air incident when I decided to try and pee on a cloud. So I deliberately wanted to add land to that list.”

“Next up is the sea and I’m hoping to get lairy during the next long weekend. It is likely I will get a break from playing cricket as I believe I have made my case as to why I should not be selected to the squad. It took a lot of effort but I am convinced that I have done my part to ensure the selectors have lost all faith in me,” he added.

A spokesman for Sri Lankan Cricket said, “We were thinking of ways to explain dropping Ramith to his father, but I think he’s managed to do it himself. We encourage all cricketers who don’t think they will make the cut to follow Ramith’s footsteps so they have an excuse as to why they aren’t playing rather than blame it on bad form.”