Ranil Vows To Rescue Country From Debt Trap. ‘Oh No, You Won’t’ Say Banks and Finance Companies

Several banks and finance companies have said they will thwart efforts by Prime Minister Ranil Wickremasinghe to rid the country of debt, by enticing more people to spend money they don’t have on shit they don’t need by teaming up with shit sellers to offer discounts which they hope you will pay back with interest.

A spokesman for one of banks said, “Ranil is hoping to wipe out debt in a generation, but our credit card offers will leave families in debt for several generations. Not only can you get a credit card very easily, we aim to ensure that each member of your family gets a one which is why we try to force supplementary cards onto you. And in addition, we will also randomly increase your credit limit so you can buy even more stuff that you will eventually have to pay interest on.”

“We have so many deals that people won’t be able to resist flashing the plastic. We have offers on accommodation in places that are out of season so for a discount you can enjoy going to parts of the country which is experiencing miserable weather, not that we would tell you that. For a limited time,  we are also offering loans with minimal collateral. If you can prove you once owned a piggy bank, you will be eligible for a housing loan,” he added.

Several countries have said they would help Sri Lankan by not offering loans the country cannot afford. However, they will continue to provide ‘grants’ and ‘aid packages’, which will need to be paid back with interest. but not loans.