NewsCurry Breaking news and serving it up in pieces
A couple who purchased several packets of Lumprais this morning for their Sunday family lunch are being treated for shock after discovering that their order contained cutlets in place of authentic balls of Frikkadel, almost passing out by the affront caused to the single Dutch cell in their bodies, and have reported the fraud to the Consumer Affairs Authority.
The Siriwardenas from Bambalapitiya, who mourn the loss of Independence annually on 4th February, said “Just because we don’t have a Dutch name like the Van Joops next door it doesn’t mean that we don’t know how to appreciate our colonial ancestry and culture, like any good middle class Colombo folk. Not only did these packets contain cutlets, they had chutney in place of the traditional blachan, which is outrageous. While there was also a strand of hair in one of the packets, because it belonged to Ms. Herft we didn’t mind.”
Mrs Janzs from the Dutch Burgher Union said, “What for the telling. Our culture is being basterdised by these newfangled food places. We wanted to introduce a rating system but every time we meet to discuss this we end up putting to fall and nothing gets done.”
Head Chef at the DBU, Mr Labrooy said “The other day someone came in and wanted a vegan lumprais. After much deliberation the closest thing we could offer was a slice of unbuttered toast served in a Banana leaf. There was one Burgher chap who tried to be a vegan but he quickly realised that was an oxymoron and gave it up within 4 hours.”
