NewsCurry Breaking news and serving it up in pieces
An acute shortage of backscratchers in the country has forced President Maithripala Sirisena to make a series of rash and unnecessary ministerial appointments last evening in a bid to ensure that his future political itches will be dealt with by proactively doing some back-scratching of his own.
During last evening’s back scratching ceremony that was held at the Presidential Secretariat, the President appointed two deputy backscratchers, while a state backscratcher was also sworn in. In return for Maithri rubbing his hand along the spinal column of the appointees, they promised to be on hand to rub Maithripala’s upper posterior area in the future when the need arises.
Speaking after the ceremony, the President said, “I know that in the future I will need my back scratched especially after a series of blunders and unfulfilled pledges. And since Ravi has made the US manufactured high-quality backscratchers unaffordable as a result of his economic policies, I had to look at a local solution. The political landscape is just a series of backscratching of various degrees. But you have to be cunning in how you agree to do it. We made a series of false promises to scratch the public’s back in return for them voting us in. Now the public are left itching in pain while some people in the Ministry of Finance are enjoying getting their figures massaged.”
In a related story, Ravi Karunanayake continues to scratch his head.
