‘Apple iPhone7 Unfortunately Can’t Prevent Dialog Selling Your Data And Spamming You’ Says Tim Cook

ApdiDespite several features added to the much hyped Apple i7, it cannot prevent your data being sold, nor being spammed by Dialog according to CEO Tim Cook, who said they are still hoping to add this feature to the next edition of the phone.

Speaking at the unveiling of the iPhone7 last night, Mr. Cook said, “Although we have added some fancy new functions which have a markup of 5000% and which consumers will rarely use, the one function that we still have not been able to crack is how to stop spam messages from Dialog. Several people have told us how annoying the messages are and that they also receive unsolicited messages from the President of the country. We are still trying to address this issue and hope to have a software update for it by the time the iPhone8 is out.”

A spokesperson for Dialog said, “Apple may be considered one of the most technologically advanced mobile phones in the world but we still have the upper hand when it comes to monetising text messages. We have some of the world’s shrewdest minds working to ensure a daily dose of SMS messages reach our users without consideration if they have asked to be sent messages. As long as we get paid, of course.

The Apple iPhone7 will come with a waterproof loan and free five minutes of smugness when you show it to your friends, who will give only three minutes of shit.

(Apple Communications Team – Please feel free to send me an iPhone7 in return for this plug of your product. Rose Gold. I am available for future product reviews as well) 

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