NewsCurry Breaking news and serving it up in pieces
Former MP and magician Mervin Silva, whose performance routine included a disappearing act, today said that UNP politician Hirunika Premachandra could have avoided the drama surrounding the alleged accusation of abduction if she had used a standard issue White Van, which is the authorised protocol when carrying out such a procedure, instead of trying to be too clever.
Hirunika, who garnered the largest sympathy vote at the general election, was summoned to the Police for questioning last evening after an attempt to use a Defender to carry out an abduction of a youth backfired on her and her goons. Speaking to the press after being questioned, Hirunika said “I was under the impression that White Vans were to used only by the SLFP for abductions and that under Yahapaalanaya we could use other vehicles for such procedures. I authorised the use of the Defender because it is spacious and has more features to make the abductee feel more comfortable when compared to White Vans. If the seats are comfy, A/C is working properly and enough of radio channels to choose from then they are less likely to want to escape from us.”
On hearing the news, Mervyn said “I have told Hirunika several times to use a White Van. I have never got in to trouble by using one for my purposes and I have had several passengers in my vans. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, as one would have thought a vehicle of a darker shade would be less conspicuous, but it has never been an issue for me.”
As a result of price increase of vehicles and related maintenance costs as outlined in the new budget, sales of white vans have plummeted, resulting in would-be abductors having to resort to forcing their intended abductees to queue for an Enrique concert.
