I Fought For Independence In 1948 As A Spermatozoa: Trump University Graduate Chathura

chathuraHaving graduated Summa Cum L(ouder) from the now defunct Trump University of Alternative Facts, MP Chathura Senaratne today reminded the public that he fought for Sri Lankan Independence as a Spermatozoa in 1948.

The 15-year-old MP said, “My DNA profile is unique and most of you can’t relate to that which is why the kerfuffle over my recent statements. My superior genetic code means I can behave like an adult despite my youthful age. It’s like I’m a mutant and my unique ability is to make up facts. After helping DS Senanayake secure independence I helped various aspects of the country including culturally. My drawings as a two-year-old were on display at an art exhibition at the Lionel Wendt in 1960 and I was the captain of the national cricket team when we gained test status.”

“People ask me why I had not stated these facts during my election campaign but to be honest I only started recollecting them once I received my PhD from the Trump University. My thesis was ‘I once shared a beer with a Brontosaurus,” he added.

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