I Rushed Back In Time For Opening Of Next Year’s Monsoon: Disaster Management Minister

anurayapa 3The Minister responsible for overseeing the response to the recent floods Anura Priyadarshana Yapa, who performed a disappearing act during the catastrophe, said that the public should forget about this year’s calamity and have confidence that he will be here to oversee the next response. Unless, of course, he gets invited to another conference abroad.

The minister is set to arrive back to the island today having forgone his main duty to the country over the last week in order to the enjoy the nachos and accommodation at a conference held in Mexico.

The minister said, “I don’t know why people are complaining. They initially said we are wasting taxpayer’s money and I had already booked the flights and was given free accommodation and tacos, so if I didn’t go members of the public would have complained that I squandered public funds. The conference was very useful and the knowledge I gained while snacking on tortilla chips will be put to good use in the future when the country is drowning. Did you know that burritos float in water, so you can they eat them while swimming? And that two enchiladas can feed a family of four? In future, we will be sending these items instead of this nonsense of water and biscuits that some volunteers are currently distributing to families in the affected areas.”

Menu Title