A major investigation by the ‘Movement Against Brothers Left Hanging’ today revealed that a brother from another mother, Maithripala Sirisena, was being conspired against by the people of the world who refused to high five him.
The organisation compiled years of evidence, some of which can be seen above, revealing that despite his willingness to initiate high fives and engage with the population on numerous occasions, no one was willing to palm slap him or in the least air five him.
Speaking to the media, a spokesman for the President said ‘He is not disheartened to hear of this conspiracy as it is just one of a number that he is a victim of. His only concern is that this is the most visible one. He has appointed a committee to look in to alternatives including High Ten or the Down Below routine, although he is aware of the high risk of being ‘too slow’ in the latter manoeuvre’
The USA celebrates national high five day in April.