The President suffered a major side effect from having his spine removed last evening by untrained doctors of the former government, when he selected to nominate the former President as the future President. M Sirisena went in to surgery after manoeuvring a U Turn on a one way road which previously led the public to the future.
An eye witness describing the carnage said that “The Yahapaalanaya Hybrid Bus, running on a combination of public goodwill and fair governance was being safely driven, but suddenly the SLFP passengers demanded Driver Sirisena make a U Turn in the middle of a one way road, despite what the signs said. The infants from the UNP were soundly asleep in the back. It was a literal car crash”
Emergency services reporting from the scene said “There was debris everywhere – windows of opportunities were shattered, the economic engine faltered, indicators were not looking good and the gear box was stuck in reverse. Luckily only the public were severely hurt, although Mr Sirisena’s spine was removed as a matter of precaution.”
Although not at the scene, on hearing the news M Rajapakse’s balls grew considerably, while Ranil’s have shrivelled. Sirisena’s balls are still missing