NewsCurry Breaking news and serving it up in pieces
Welcome to the first edition of the NewsCurry’s Election Updates. With news breaking more often than Ministers breaking away from the UPFA Alliance it’s a bit tough keeping up, so from time to time over the next month we’ll bring you news in briefs covering the pants off the latest stories
Wimal Takes Selfie, Complains Media Not Taking Pictures of Him
With the moustached one hogging all UPFA’s media time, Wimal resorted to taking a picture of himself to make the electorate aware that he is still around and contesting in the upcoming elections.
“We took a break from the meeting and hauled in the guy who made the tea as there was too much sugar. You can see the committee grilling him behind me. I didn’t want to get involved so I took a picture of the incident. They were practicing berating him in preparation for the Maithri Rebuttal speech that will happen in a few days. They also practiced shouting at Maithri’s picture on the wall”
Prasanna Claims President Betrayed Party in Interest of the Country
Prasanna Ranatunga, the least famous Ranatunga brother whose only link to cricket is that he has none, said that the President betrayed the party by putting the interest of Sri Lanka ahead of it. “The President thinks he was appointed by the people of the country and decided to act in their best interests rather than in the interests of the people of his party who backstabbed and ostracised him. A true politician would not act on behalf of the future of the people ahead of his fellow dodgy politicians”
Duminda, Mervin, Sajin planning to contest from Pluto
Close ups of the ice mountains of the planet(?)Pluto taken yesterday have revealed a batch of posters for the three stooges, fueling rumours they may have made late registrations as Independent Aliens for the upcoming elections under the United Fellowship of Oafs party
