The Committee that awards the Nobel Peace Prize today announced that Sri Lankan President Maithiripala Sirisena has been shortlisted for the award, albeit the one that Aung San Suu Kyi won, for his on-going effort of not commenting on issues of ethnic and religious intolerance.
The committee said, “The services of general apathy towards the tensions simmering in the country and his unwillingness to take any meaningful action shows how sleepy, and thus peaceful, President Sirisena is. Most recently he said that he will be banning unhealthy foreign food from being imported into the country as there is no doubt that After Eight Mints are causing several Buddhist monks to turn violent.”
“He follows in the footsteps of the former recipient and current President of Myanmar, Aung San Suu Kyi, so we believe that we should actually award him the prize that she won,” the committee added.
President Sirisena said, “I heard there was an issue in Mount Lavinia yesterday, but it just turned out to be some refugees who were desperate for help and were being mobbed by some Sri Lankans. We have more important things to deal with like why are there children eating Smarties and thus ruining the local mee-beti sweet trade?”