Mahela to retire from Testing Nishantha

Sri Lanka cricketing legend Mahela Jaywardene today announced that he would be retiring from testing Nishantha Ranathunga, secretary for the incompetence division of Sri Lanka Cricket.

Jayawardene who made his debut in 1997 and counts a stellar career as one of Sri Lanka’s finest batsman made his testing Nishantha debut in 2011 when the latter first was appointed to the Sri Lanka Cricket Board after a selection process involving a final short list of Ranathunga, a flamingo and a jar of chutney. While Chutney was the first choice he could not get himself of the sticky situation with his former employer while the flamingo got a better offer from the Zoo leaving the Board having to appoint Nishantha

Ranathunga’s career statics as secretary are currently as follows:

• Match up with the players: Several
• Balls up: Every time he opens his mouth
• Economy: SLC in severe debt
• Average: Is an overestimation of his performance
• Caught: Being both Secretary of SLC and CEO of the media company he awarded the cricket rights to.

Ranthunga has breathed a sigh of relief on the news of Mahela’s depature from testing him and said “Phew”.