Following news that Geetha Kumarasinghe, the first of hopefully many unqualified and unsuitable people, was disqualified from Parliament for holding dual citizenship, fellow MP Vasudeva ...
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Accepting His New Role To Quell Disruptions, Sarath Fonseka Unveils His Strategy To The Public
Field Marshal Sarath Fonseka this morning unveiled his secret weapon that he intends to use as part of his campaign to control public unrest, following ...
Read More »If There Isn’t Room In Colombo, We’ll Happily Move To Port City: Stray Dogs And Homeless People
Following the news that stray dogs and homeless people will be moved out of Colombo, a spokesperson representing both groups of species said that they ...
Read More »Experts Say To Avoid Future Disasters, Remember 3 Rs of Refuse: Rajapakses, Ranil and Ranatungas
A team of Japanese scientists who visited the country and assessed the damage at the Meethotamulla dumping site advised the public that in order to ...
Read More »Don’t Choose Which May Day Rally To Attend By Political Affiliation, But By Type Of Lie You Want To Hear
Members of the public attending May Day rallies have been told that in order to maximise the value of their attendance to select a suitable ...
Read More »I Didn’t Queue For 3 Hours And Panic Buy Petrol For Ranil To End Strike In One Day Say Irate Motorists
A number of motorists who ended up looking like fools for panic buying fuel have levelled yet another complaint against Prime Minister Ranil Wickremasinghe for ...
Read More »IGP Arrested By Fashion Police For Wearing Outdated Khaki; Agrees To Upgrade Uniform To Blue
IGP Pujith Jayasundara was taken into custody this morning after evading the fashion police for over two decades, having been accused of repeatedly ordering khaki ...
Read More »GMOA Head Office Tops List Of New Garbage Disposal Sites Following Public Poll
A recent public poll conducted by the Ministry of Environment has indicated that the preferred location for a new waste disposal location was the headquarters ...
Read More »President Gazettes Garbage Disposal ‘Essential Service'; Running Country Efficiently Still Non-Essential
In a special Gazette issued last evening, the President marked the disposal of garbage as an essential service, while continuing to maintain the efficient running ...
Read More »Meethotamulla Residents Force Ranil To Wear Mask To Protect Them From Further Pollution
Angry residents of disaster-stricken Meethotamulla said that the only reason they permitted Prime Minister Ranil Wickremasinghe to visit the area was on the condition that ...
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